I need you
by MrsCAHSRECLHCJ
Summary: Spencer is in a relationship with Lindy. She has opened up his world to love and sex. Something bad has happened today that threatens their happiness. How do they deal with it? One shot - very M rated story. It may be absorbed into my ongoing multi chapter story, but not at the moment. Just for fun! Please R&R.


**AN: WARNING! Smut and bad language. Please do not read if easily offended (there is some light bondage and spanking featured), I realise it's not everyone's cup of tea. This is a one-shot for pure guilty, very M rated pleasure. I may adapt it and include it in my ongoing multi chapter fic, but this story has been knawing at me to be written and I'm nowhere near the stage in my story of having this happen. So I thought I'd just write it as a one-shot to be enjoyed. The details are a bit vague as it's not yet part of a bigger story.**

 **Background:**

 **Spencer has been with Lindy for a few months. They're deeply in love and she has introduced him to love, relationships and good sex. Today though something has happened which threatens their happiness. How do they deal with it?**

-/-/-/-/

Lindy sat on the garden swing watching the sun dip lower and lower over the hills. There was a breeze, but the air was still warm from the hot June day.

She hadn't heard from Spencer or Derek since they'd gone upstairs earlier. After an hour of lying on the sofa trying to process what she was hearing of the raised voices from Spencer's study, she realised that she could drive herself crazy waiting. She wasn't on their priority list right now, she understood that.

That was the point she got up and just started "doing". Anything really, to keep her busy. Tidying, cleaning, organising. Then she went to the gym, pounding out her worries on the treadmill. When she returned, Derek's car was gone and though his car was in the drive, there was no sign of Spencer downstairs. Louise opened a bottle of beer and wandered out to the garden. She loved evenings like this, a rare time she could enjoy warmth in the later part of the day while watching the view. It was her peaceful escape.

Tonight it calmed her, but did nothing to ease the knot in her stomach. The feeling of absolute certainty that her and Spencer's bubble had burst. Their few weeks of blissful happiness, short lived and now, what felt like a lifetime ago. She didn't want to guess at what Spencer might be thinking, feeling, doing.

She continued to drink her beer, a little faster than was advisable. She heard steps on the path behind her, but didn't turn. She didn't want to see the look on his face when he came to say he was leaving.

"Hi", she felt the swing move as he shifted in beside her.

"Hey", she took another drink.

"So..."

"So, how are you?"

"I'm not sure really,"

"Are you leaving?"

"No! Why would I leave?!"

He sounded surprised and Lindy turned to look at him for the first time since he'd sat down. His face was expressionless, dark and brooding. She couldn't read him.

"Today, what's happened. I thought you'd want to get away...I don't know I just assumed."

"What would be the point in leaving?"

"To process what's happened? Some space? Everything's different now."

He shook his head,

"Can we talk about something else?" He rubbed his hands across his eyes, onto his forehead, groaned.

"Headache?" Lindy asked.

"Not a migraine, just a tension."

"What do you need?" Lindy asked him simply. She felt like she wanted to do something, something to connect with him again. This morning's laughter and affection seemed so far away.

"I need something to help me switch off from this shit! I need some kind of release!"

"Do you need to find a meeting?"

He looked at her suddenly,

"No actually, I don't, that actually hadn't crossed my mind, weird...I don't know..."

"Is there something else you want to do then?" If he wasn't thinking about any meds, what did he want? Maybe he needed to go and workout or get drunk or eat chocolate.

"There is something, but I can't say, I should probably just go back inside."

"Why can't you say? Is it to do with today?"

"No, well not directly, obviously the situation is to do with today, but what I need now is to do with you."

Lindy drank some more, she thought she might be getting an inkling of where this was going, but then what if she was wrong and he was horrified that she suggested it. She finished her beer, placed the bottle on the ground and turned to him, bending her knee up on the seat. She placed her hand on his chest,

"Tell me what you need,"

He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. She moved her hand to his cheek,

"It's me, you can tell me,"

He looked straight into her eyes,

"I really need to fuck you, hard."

She gasped, she couldn't believe he'd said it, but she loved the edge in his voice. That edge of control. She felt a delicious uncurling in her lower abdomen. She leaned over and kissed him hard, just one long press of her lips to his then she pulled away,

"So fuck me then."

She stood up, pushed past him, walked down the small steps and headed into the house, peeling her top off as she went, praying that the neighbours had not picked that moment to lean and look out of their window.

Spencer watched her go, his breath ragged now. Then he stood up and followed her.

As he went inside he noted her discarded clothing. Her top first, then just inside the dining room door, her jeans on the floor.

As he walked into the hallway she stood before him, leaning in his bedroom doorway. She looked stunning. White lace bra and knickers, long tanned limbs. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she looked at him expectantly.

He walked to her. Standing in front of her now, he slid his left hand around her hip then suddenly cupped her ass, pulling her close to him. She moaned low in her throat.

He moved his right hand behind her head, leaning her back slightly to gain access to her neck. He licked the front of it before kissing down towards her breasts. She continued to lean back into his touch as he moved her body where he wanted her. Suddenly he stood up, looking straight into her eyes, he exhaled deeply.

"You will tell me?" he asked, "if it's too hard, if I'm too...um...rough."

She wrapped her arms round his neck and kissed him deeply then pulled back,

"I will tell you I promise, but Spencer, I want this, I want you".

He ran both of his hands up her bare back causing her to shiver and her nipples to pebble under the thin lace. He reached up to her hair, gently removing the bauble which secured her dark brown waves at the top of her head. The messy top knot fell away easily and he stroked her shoulders as the locks fell gently around them.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured.

She pulled at his t-shirt lifting it over his head then returned her arms around his neck. She moaned as she felt his skin against hers. He took the opportunity to lift her up then. Holding onto her ass, he carried her inside the room as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He kicked the door shut and pushed her back against it, still holding her up around his waist. As she made contact with the door, his erection pushed into her centre, sending shockwaves from her clitoris out to the rest of her body.

Spencer groaned as he felt the contact too. Pushing his chest into hers, he revelled in the feeling of her nipples pressed into his skin through the fabric of her bra. He crashed his mouth onto hers, exploring her mouth with his tongue. Her tongue joined his and their lips battled in extraordinary passion. He began to rock his hips against hers, squeezing her backside, nudging at her opening with his denim clad cock.

"Unzip me," he commanded close to her ear.

She whined with arousal, feeling the heat build between her legs where a gathering wetness indicated she was ready for him.

She reached between them then, fixing him with a hard stare. Taking care not to break eye contact, she undid his top button, then the zip. Slipping her hand inside the waist band, she found his hard length, circling it softly before grasping more firmly and moving her wrist back and forth. She continued to look into his eyes, smiling seductively, adoring the feeling of power as she watched him lose control. He closed his eyes, leaning his head on her shoulder.

His legs and arms started to shake slightly with the strain and he lowered her carefully to the ground. She dropped to her knees immediately, pulling his jeans and underwear to his ankles and helping him step out of them.

She looked up at him and her heart filled with love at the way he gazed down at her, she felt adored.

Softly she stroked up his legs, revelling in the feeling of his muscles under her fingertips. She ghosted over the area where his legs joined his ass and was rewarded with a jolt through his cock. She knelt up a little more, taking him in her mouth. He leaned back against the door, tangling his hands in her hair. She felt him push against her head slightly, controlling her movements and she smiled. With anyone else she may have felt a panic at being out of control, but she trusted him so implicitly and she loved that he could take control with her.

As if reading her mind he whispered,

"Is this ok? I can stop if-"

She looked up at him and nodded, kissing the tip of his length in a show of acceptance. He groaned and she felt him move her head again, faster this time.

After a few moments, he tugged her away,

"It's ok to keep going," she said.

"No, I need you another way."

He reached down, took her hands in his and pulled her to her feet. He kissed her gently before fixing her with a determined stare.

"You're overdressed." he stated simply.

"What should I do about that?"

Spencer walked her backwards towards the bed, but he sat down instead of her. She stood between his knees, holding his hands, gazing down at him with lust and love.

He kissed her hand,

"Take off your bra, slowly." his voice was low, but commanding. Her breath hitched at his words.

She reached up to her shoulders, peeling first the left strap then the right strap down until they hung by her elbows. She undid the clasp at the back and leant forward slightly letting the garment drop, exposing her breasts fully. Spencer's breathing increased and she placed her hands on her hips, shaking her hair back.

He moved forward then, pulling her closer, he caught her left nipple between his teeth, biting gently until she cried out in pleasure. He sucked and nipped at her breasts, kneading her ass.

She lowered her mouth to his, they explored each other's mouths, lips bruising as they deepened the kiss.

"Stand up," he murmured. She followed his command.

"Turn round, bend over, take your panties off."

"Spencer," she groaned, "I'm so wet, I need you."

"Show me."

She turned, bending over to her knees she let Spencer enjoy the view for a few seconds.

"You're beautiful, let me see you," he was breathless now, hoarse with desire.

She slipped her knickers down her legs, staying bent over she stepped out of them then went to stand up.

"Stay like that," Spencer said sharply. She obliged happily, loving the fact that he was looking at her so intimately.

Suddenly she felt his thumb brush her wetness, she yelped from both the shock of the contact and the sheer bliss of his touch on her body.

He steadied her hips with both hands before returning his attention to her clit. He rubbed it in a gentle circle.

"Are you ready for me?"

"Yes".

Suddenly he plunged two fingers into her centre. She pitched forward with the force and he held her fast in front of him wrapping his arm around her waist.

She cried out at the feeling. The sudden fullness, sweetly pinching. The angle she was bent at meant that Spencer had direct access to her most sensitive spots both inside and out.

"Ok?" Spencer asked a little worried.

"Yes, more than ok."

He began moving his fingers now in and out, a fast pumping action that had her crying out. He felt her begin to tense and stilled his hand.

"Please, don't stop," she begged.

"Not so fast, love," he pulled her closer, straightening her up. He kissed the cleft of her ass, continuing a slow path from the base of her spine to her neck.

Her back was now pressed hard against his front, his erection nudging between her cheeks.

Softly he placed a hand on her shoulder, moving it round until it sat ever so gently on her throat.

"I want to take you from behind," it was a question more than a command. He didn't want to assume that was ok.

She nodded, "Yes,"

Her consent was all he needed.

"Get onto the bed, lie on your stomach, don't touch your clit." He knew she liked to do this when they made love, but this time he wanted to control when she came.

Wordlessly, she moved to lie across the bed as he'd told her. She felt like she might combust.

Suddenly she felt him behind her, hands on her hips. He lifted her backside up until her chest was pressed into the mattress, ass in the air, knees bent. He lined up his cock with her entrance, teasing her gently.

"Spencer," she moaned through gritted teeth, "please...fuck me hard."

She threw his earlier words back at him and he twitched between her legs. Then he pushed and kept pushing until he was sheathed inside her. They both breathed for a moment, getting used to the sensation then he held her hips fast.

"I'm going to move now," he said and he did.

He began to thrust into her, shallow shallow shallow, deep, setting up a knee trembling rhythm. She was moving across the duvet, nipples grazing the fabric, holding on as he pounded into her.

"Do you like me holding you tightly like this?" He squeezed her hips tighter to illustrate his question.

"Yes, I love that I'll still feel where you've held me tomorrow. That you could leave fingerprints on me."

He slowed down,

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Always". He couldn't see her face so he had to trust the truth in her voice.

"I want to try something, but if you don't like it, tell me and I'll stop."

"I trust you." She reassured him.

He sped up again, rolling his hips this time, taking care to hit both sweet spots. Then he rubbed the flat of his right hand across her butt cheek. Rubbing it in a circle, he tapped her with his fingers. Then bolder, he smacked across her ass very gently. She moaned,

"Are you ok?" he asked quickly.

"Yes, it's just..."

"What? Should I stop?"

"No! It's just, you could do it harder if you wanted."

He gasped and thrust harder.

The anticipation of what this might feel like left Lindy boneless with desire. Then a crack sounded as Spencer smacked across her butt cheek again, harder this time.

She screamed out in pleasure. The vibrations moving through her while his cock was so tight inside her were like shock waves to her very core.

"Again," she cried, "more!"

Spencer obliged with two more smacks, rubbing her reddening skin each time.

"Spencer?"

"Yes?" He leaned right over her now, supporting his weight on his hands either side of her shoulders. Kissing round her ear, he spoke gently, "is it too much?"

"No...please...I'm close...can I touch my clit?"

He buried his face in her shoulder and groaned. The heady sensation of control was pushing him closer to his own release. The fact she'd listened to him so intently, delaying her own pleasure until he was ready to give it to her just made him weak with desire. This woman in his arms was his and he was hers, a bond, a trust he'd never experienced. It made him love her more deeply and made him bolder.

He bit down gently on the outer shell of her ear, "No, your clit is mine."

She whined and he felt her tighten round him. With his left arm, he held her tightly round her stomach, holding her to him. He was able to reach his left hand down and gently rub her clit. She moaned loudly, a primal desperate sound. He began to roll his hips again, noting how she contracted each time he hit her g-spot.

They were both panting now, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. A tangle of limbs. Suddenly he pulled her up so she was on all fours and he slipped from her. She groaned in frustration.

He dragged his fingers down her spine, "Ssh, I've got you. And this time I'm going to go hard until I feel you fall apart around me."

She shook with anticipation. Once inside her again he resumed his earlier movements, but this time he rubbed her clit in harder circles, pushing her body harder. Then he smacked her ass again, no warning and she screamed at the delicious unexpected sensations.

He could feel how close she was and he wanted to test if he really could control exactly when she came.

"I'm going to smack you again and when I do I want you to come all over my cock."

He couldn't believe these words were his. He dug deep into his mind for what he wanted and needed rather than what he thought he should do in bed. Only 3 months ago he had been a virgin. Then he'd met Lindy and everything changed for him, emotionally and physically. Now here, for someone who was just at the start of his sexual journey, this was quite an awakening.

He rubbed her ass again, still rubbing her clit with his other hand. She shook with the effort of holding herself up and of anticipation. She moaned again and he could feel her need.

Crack.

He slapped her again,

"I'm close" she screamed.

"Come now," he ordered while he slapped once more a little harder and that's all it took.

She fell apart in front of him, sobbing his name as she came harder than he'd ever seen her do. She collapsed forward, burying her face in the duvet as he rode her through her orgasm. The contractions rolling on and on. He felt close to his own release, but a concern for Lindy, her wellbeing, if he'd gone too hard, kept it at bay for now.

He withdrew slowly and she yelped. He lay down beside her, her wetness evident on him. He stroked her shoulders, kissing her neck, her face was hidden in the mattress behind her hair and she continued to shudder and moan.

He brushed her hair away and saw her cheeks wet with tears. He was horrified, rolling her over onto her back, kissing her, stroking her face,

"Lindy Lindy, my love, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

She looked up confused, still slightly zoned out from her orgasm.

"You didn't hurt me baby, well not in a bad way. Calm down why are you panicking?"

"You're crying," he said, guilt settling in his chest.

"No baby no, it's just the release of emotion I felt, I couldn't hold it back."

She kissed him deeply, "thank you" she breathed against his lips.

"Oh thank God, I never want to hurt you."

"Hey listen, I promised I'd tell you if it was too much and I will. I trust you. You need this and I'm here for you. And I'm pretty sure we're not done yet." She reached down to his still hard length and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"You're still in control Spencer. You take me how you want me, I'm here, what do you need?"

He kissed her again, "I love you, I love you." He said urgently between kisses.

"I love you too. Now do what you need to come, hard."

They entwined once more, arms, legs, fingers. Lindy was still sensitive from what they'd done so far, but she knew she could ride it out until Spencer found his release and the slight pain would give way to pleasure.

He pulled her up the bed so she was lying on the pillows. He rolled on top of her, crushing his chest on hers, she held on tight feeling like they would never get close enough. He pushed into her again and she winced slightly,

He stopped, "Are you sore love?"

"A little, but I mean it Spencer just do what you need, it will feel good, for both of us. She nodded and urged him on.

He moved in and out of her slowly, gently. Sucking her nipples into his mouth, tonguing each one in turn. Then he hooked his arm under her left leg, pushing it to her chest, stretching her more and she bucked her hips under him. She reached up for him and he kissed her hands, before taking them one at a time and placing them on the bars of her ornate headboard.

"Leave your hands here," he whispered hoarsely to her, "don't move them. Restrain yourself..."

She understood he was imagining she was restrained. Held there under him, completely at his mercy. She nodded and held on tight. To lie there and just feel was liberating.

He began thrusting again, dipping down to kiss her, he swept his tongue into her mouth. Kissed along her jaw, buried his face in the crook of her neck. His cock felt raw now, his need to come, pressing down on him.

"I have to go fast", he whispered in her ear.

She nodded, looking him right in the eye,

"Use me," she breathed.

He lost control then, speeding up, holding her leg for leverage, watching her splayed underneath him. She held onto the bed as he'd told her and kept looking at him.

"Aah" he cried out.

"Spencer, let go."

And he did, he moaned a primal sound as he poured himself into her, sucking her nipples as he came. He loved to feel the weight of them on his tongue.

Lindy was moaning again as he continued to thrust.

"Do you need to come again?" He breathed into her chest.

"With you, always." She said simply.

"Be honest, how sore are you?"

"I'm a little raw," she admitted.

"But close?"

She nodded, tightening her grip on the bed.

Spencer withdrew, kissing his way down her body. He settled between her legs. He stroked her clit with his index finger,

"No, too much" she cried.

"Ok love," he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh and continued until he hovered over her groin.

As gently as possible he licked her clit, kissing round it, sucking it into his mouth. He could taste himself on her and it sent his senses in a spin.

He concentrated on the sides of her clit, ever so softly lapping at her bud. She moved one hand to his head. He looked up and she smiled,

"Oops".

He grinned, kissing her stomach then leaned over to the bottom drawer where she kept some stuff. He admitted to himself he'd wanted to do this for a long time. He took out a fine chiffon scarf and dragged it across her breasts. She arched her back. He reached up, gently securing her wrists to the bed,

"You're at my mercy now," he said close to her mouth."

"I have been since you carried me in here."

Her admission made him hard again, but he knew she needed a break, of sorts.

He resettled between her legs, softly kissing round her clit, careful not to put too much pressure on it. She felt sheer bliss, the sensations building within her told her it wouldn't be long and she gave herself over to the pleasure.

Spencer continued licking, sucking and kissing until he recognised the signs she was going to come soon.

"Give it to me love, let me feel it." He spoke against her folds. Then he drew her clit into his mouth. The slow, gentle, steady rhythm dragged her second orgasm from her, she screamed and pushed her clit harder against his tongue. He continued to flick it gently until she cried out,

"Stop please, I can't take any more."

He kissed his way back up her body.

"Thank you, Spencer that was incredible. The things you do to me."

"And you love," he rubbed his nose against hers, pushing his now completely hard length against her stomach. He moved to untie her, but she stopped him,

"Not yet, please, come here."

He returned to her, kissing her gently.

"Not here here, higher" she urged.

He was unsure what she meant but she looked pointedly between his legs, licking her lips. If he was reading this wrong it could be really embarrassing, but the look in her eyes urged him on.

He settled himself by her head.

"Closer," she said.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded,

"Tell me Lindy, what do you want."

"What do you want?" She flung his question back at him.

"I can't say," he looked embarrassed.

"Spencer we're way past not saying what we want."

"I want to fuck your mouth." he cringed a little. What if that's not what she wanted?

"Uh uh that's what I want too."

This woman amazed him every chance she got. He straddled her chest and she tipped her chin, opening her mouth.

The love and acceptance shone from her eyes as she took his length to the back of her mouth. Breathing through her nose and enjoying every inch of him.

"It'll be fast Lindy." He warned.

She nodded and moaned round him. And it was, within moments he cried,

"I'm gonna come," pulling out of her mouth, he painted her chest with his stripes and she wore a grin of pure satisfaction.

He untied her wrists, sitting up, pulling her to him, holding her tightly. They were both messy, sticky with sweat and release.

He lifted her off the bed then, carrying her into the bathroom and placing her unsteadily on her feet in the shower. Her legs shook,

"I don't know if I can stand," she admitted.

"I've got you."

He held her under the water, bathing her flushed skin. When they were both clean, he wrapped his arms round her.

"I love you." he said.

"I love you too."

"I want you to know, I _still_ love you. _Nothing_ has changed that, nothing _will_ change that."

She knew he was talking about today and suddenly the real world had opened up between them again. They'd had hours in the bedroom shutting it all out, focussing on each other's bodies, but now it was back. They'd have to deal with all this one way or another, but although she was scared, she felt loved in that moment with Spencer.

She'd trusted him with her body, now she had to trust him with her heart.


End file.
